So as some of my more regular readers and Instagram followers may already be aware of… this little fam have been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster recently. Yes from the outside and fleeting glimpses it may seem like our life has been at an all time high; Our Wedding Day was spectacular, we recently went on our Honeymoon and I have been remaining a strong Mama by seeing friends, finding time for myself and hoping to inspire empowerment in the Motherhood community. However behind the scenes we have been dealing with demons and although I have briefly touched upon how this has made me feel, I have not opened up about the cause of these feelings. Well ladies and gents… today is that day.
After the atrocious events that have unfolded in recent weeks that have added greatly to my emotional strain, I have been thinking about all of the amazing and incredible things in my life I am utterly grateful for. We have been faced with some seriously distressing times recently, over the election, the terror attack in Manchester and the horrifying images we saw this morning from those should at Grenfell Tower in London, and it has made me so determined to cherish my family and little man as I struggle to deal with what the future holds.
After spending an afternoon wth my ‘very near to popping out a sprog’ friend, I realised that on reflection, society loves to inadvertently scare “Mothers to be’ with warnings and condescending comments about how terrible life will be for them after they give birth. This is definitely not right! I don’t think in all cases it is intentional and merely meant as innocent jibes. But these pokes of fun at a new Mother’s expense could really scare ‘Mothers to be’ and make them feel more overwhelmed that they actually need to be! We should be supporting them instead of poking fun surely?
So its been crossing my mind recently that I really should think about getting rid of my pram (the fact that it broke also pushed things along a little!) and I’m not going to lie the thought of going to without it is super scary… but Im trying step by step to ease my (and the little dudes) way into freeing him form the restraints of his pram and setting him free into the world. I find there are pros and cons to this…
I think this has to be my personal gripe at the moment; men calling Women, Girls. To that mater even women calling Women, Girls. I think it is in some case innocently done and probably no harm is intended to the receiver of such an insult to their femininity but if we can spread the message that it is in fact quite wrong and pretty abysmal behaviour in the 21st Century to still be calling grown Women, Girls the maybe it will come to an end. Note: I am aware that that I may receive a fair amount of backlash from this weeks Musing as I know a lot of people think this is a pointless issue… but bear with me on this one…
I have been having a reflect over our wedding photographs (If you haven’t had a gander at them in all their glory yet, have a look at my most recent #bloggybrides post ‘Bloggy Bride gets married’) and I realised something that I had forgotten about since we opened up all of our amazing gifts and cards; we are loved. We were so overwhelmed by the kindness and happiness that everyone bestowed upon us! So today I am using my weekly musing to make it known that you really should never underestimate how much you truly mean to your friends and family.
Does crying make you happy? Relieve stress through crying? Hear me out… I have always thought that after a good cry I have somehow felt a sense of relief in a way; after watching an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond (If anyone has not watched this show you need to jump on that bandwagon immediately… breakfast watching for the win!) and seeing the main lady attempting to explain this to her husband I thought… its not just me then! I started to do some research and I found that in fact crying can make you happy, and here is why.
Since my little man was…well… little, I have been of the opinion that whatever my feelings were at the time, even well hidden ones, he would pick up on them. Babies are like emotional meerkats and always are completely attuned to their Mothers worry, stress, sadness or happiness (obviously any other emotion applies here… I’m not listing them all out for you…) As the little man has grown in age and independence her still seems to feed off my emotions in a big way; and Ive noticed that my the Mr does too; a happy Mama really does make for a happy home.
I think there is definitely an immense amount of satisfaction and serenity we can all feel when we let go of our envy of others and concentrate on ourselves and what makes us fabulous. After all, envy is one of the seven deadly sins… so why do we practice it so regularly? I have fallen victim to the envy of others, and definitely jealousy to a certain extent, and have found it awfully debilitating and completely counter productive to achieving our dreams. When you let go of comparison and turn it into admiration you can embrace yourself and who you are and therefore find your own path to your passions.
I have previously mused, if you will, about my quandary with the whole ‘working Mom’ thing as I believe that we are pulled in all sorts of directions and made to believe and also made to feel guilty with all sorts of ‘Motherhood’ ideals. In one instance the government seem to want us to work and we undoubtedly get judged for being Stay at home Moms’ by the general public… then on the other hand we are not given the chance to work in some instances as we are not deemed ‘flexible’ enough or wanting a firm ‘career’. As Mother Pukka has awesomely campaigned in an ongoing trail blaze, it is the employers that need to be flexible. Her ‘Flex Appeal’ campaign has brought widespread media attention and even the ante ion of the government. You go girl! I feel though, that the flexibility of society is needed also in the corners that we think would be supportive of the working mother, the NHS. Yes… Im going there. Is society, and the NHS, really built for working Moms?
This is the firm reason I started blogging in the first place and the purpose of my blog if you will; affirming in all Mommas that you don’t have to let parenting take over your life. You are your own fabulous person and you and your child and everyone around you will be amazed to watch you flourish and rock this parenting shindig while letting yourself shine through. Don’t let the label ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’ take over ‘YOU’.
I was watching ITV’ This Morning… this morning… (I have to admit that i don’t ordinarily actually pay much attention to morning shows as I am attempting to finally eat my breakfast after sorting out everyone else and indulging my little man in playing for a while) and I was for the first time enthralled by the new feature that Lorraine Kelly hosts called ‘Brand New You’. It is a thread that aims to give daily advice and inspiration to women wanting to refresh and detox their bodies for 2017. Today the instalment focussed on stress and it really interested me enough to feel the need to share in with you lovely ladies, and men, as I feel that parents need to find time for themselves to destress most of all!