As you may know if you follow my blog, I run Rock and Roses Mama alongside working part time in Retail Management; I know a lot of Mothers strive for this balance but believe me the struggles of a woking Mom are harsh… My ‘working Mother’ story is a little long winded so today I am sharing it with you in the hope that it will inspire other Mothers to share their story and provide clarity in the Mothering community.
Does crying make you happy? Relieve stress through crying? Hear me out… I have always thought that after a good cry I have somehow felt a sense of relief in a way; after watching an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond (If anyone has not watched this show you need to jump on that bandwagon immediately… breakfast watching for the win!) and seeing the main lady attempting to explain this to her husband I thought… its not just me then! I started to do some research and I found that in fact crying can make you happy, and here is why.
So I have mused before about ‘Friendships after childbirth‘ and how they tend to shift; you will undoubtedly loose friends and your friendships and their boundaries will change. This is not to be seen as a bad thing however, and I wish that there had been someone around to tell me this before I gave birth, it is completely natural for certain friendships to be tested after a baby becomes part of them. It is easiest just to say goodbye to friendships that are not lasting through and welcome new ones; becoming a Mama necessitates making friends with fellow Mamas, it is of utmost importance to find your Mama tribe!
Since my little man was…well… little, I have been of the opinion that whatever my feelings were at the time, even well hidden ones, he would pick up on them. Babies are like emotional meerkats and always are completely attuned to their Mothers worry, stress, sadness or happiness (obviously any other emotion applies here… I’m not listing them all out for you…) As the little man has grown in age and independence her still seems to feed off my emotions in a big way; and Ive noticed that my the Mr does too; a happy Mama really does make for a happy home.
So International Womens Day has crept up on me this year and I have been thinking about how I can show my support and promote this years theme #beboldforchange when I realised I already do; by buying from independent businesses that are run by women, predominantly Mothers, and promoting their incredibly unique and empowering products. So I thought I would take this opportunity to share my most recent favourites with you all so that you too can support businesses run by women and #beboldforchange.
I think there is definitely an immense amount of satisfaction and serenity we can all feel when we let go of our envy of others and concentrate on ourselves and what makes us fabulous. After all, envy is one of the seven deadly sins… so why do we practice it so regularly? I have fallen victim to the envy of others, and definitely jealousy to a certain extent, and have found it awfully debilitating and completely counter productive to achieving our dreams. When you let go of comparison and turn it into admiration you can embrace yourself and who you are and therefore find your own path to your passions.
Ok so its the unspoken entity that visits us every month; it hangs over us like a shadow just waiting to make its arrival known in true hammer horror style. The Period. If it is completely normal and a monthly occurrence (thats pretty damn frequent) why is it so under wraps and so ‘hush hush’? Men tend to get all ‘icky’ when it is mentioned and when we are younger we are made to feel like it is a slightly, verging on, shameful entity. I think there was an advert for a film that I recently saw that showed a family telling the daughter to not talk about her ‘menstrual cycle’ and she was attempting to try and normalise it with them, and the son in particular. Personally I have, weirdly, grown to totally embrace the coming of ‘that’ time of the month and here’s my reasons why I think you should too.
I have previously mused, if you will, about my quandary with the whole ‘working Mom’ thing as I believe that we are pulled in all sorts of directions and made to believe and also made to feel guilty with all sorts of ‘Motherhood’ ideals. In one instance the government seem to want us to work and we undoubtedly get judged for being Stay at home Moms’ by the general public… then on the other hand we are not given the chance to work in some instances as we are not deemed ‘flexible’ enough or wanting a firm ‘career’. As Mother Pukka has awesomely campaigned in an ongoing trail blaze, it is the employers that need to be flexible. Her ‘Flex Appeal’ campaign has brought widespread media attention and even the ante ion of the government. You go girl! I feel though, that the flexibility of society is needed also in the corners that we think would be supportive of the working mother, the NHS. Yes… Im going there. Is society, and the NHS, really built for working Moms?
This is the firm reason I started blogging in the first place and the purpose of my blog if you will; affirming in all Mommas that you don’t have to let parenting take over your life. You are your own fabulous person and you and your child and everyone around you will be amazed to watch you flourish and rock this parenting shindig while letting yourself shine through. Don’t let the label ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’ take over ‘YOU’.
Over the past few months we have been struggling to encourage the little prince to indulge in his afternoon snooze, which has been quite frustrating and to be honest due to the time of year we put it down to Christmas. Eating habits tend to shift over the festive period and we figured clearly it was affecting his sleeping schedule (bed time was proving a little more trying than usual too) and it would soon get back into routine once Christmas had relinquished the normality of everyday. But alas… we were wrong. It seems that ‘nap time’ has faded just like the baubles and hoards of wrapping paper; it seems that ‘nap time’ was slowly becoming grown out of. Farewell nap time, you have served me well.
Motherhood can be a very lonely existence without the right support networks; I have rambled on before about how integral I feel it is to find your Mama clan and hold them tight. But sometimes you can’t always be wth them and you, god forbid, might actually need to venture out of your home solo with your child. Be it to do the food shop, to go grab a bite to eat, even just to get some fresh air for the two ( or however large your brood) of you. So why when we are actually attempting to do normal, everyday tasks and culture our children by taking them out of the house do we get made to feel hideous if they make the slightest noise or decide they want to have a wander instead of sitting absolutely, statuesquely still and silent?
I was watching ITV’ This Morning… this morning… (I have to admit that i don’t ordinarily actually pay much attention to morning shows as I am attempting to finally eat my breakfast after sorting out everyone else and indulging my little man in playing for a while) and I was for the first time enthralled by the new feature that Lorraine Kelly hosts called ‘Brand New You’. It is a thread that aims to give daily advice and inspiration to women wanting to refresh and detox their bodies for 2017. Today the instalment focussed on stress and it really interested me enough to feel the need to share in with you lovely ladies, and men, as I feel that parents need to find time for themselves to destress most of all!