Its a pretty tough road, Motherhood, but there are so many reasons why every Mama needs to know that they ARE in fact NAILING Motherhood; however much it feels like you are failing miserably.
There are days where you may feel like you are staring into a deep, black abyss and every other Mother around you seems to be keeping a swan-like grace; but trust me below the water we are all flapping our feet, crazily trying to stay afloat!
I think that however Insta-Perfect everyone, including yourself sometimes, may seem, it is OK to be vulnerable and let your troubles be known because despite them… you are doing an amazing job! Every Mama needs a little boost and so I came up with 11 of them to cheer your soul on those dark days…
1. You are exhausted
I think this is the most overwhelming part of Motherhood as it is relentless and unforgiving, but inescapable. Try as you might to catch up on this sleep you will never manage it and struggling trough the puffy, hazy eyes means that you are a Mother!
Wether it be due to late nights, night wakings, early mornings or, lets face it, all three, you may feel like your sanity is slowly slipping away; but know that by being there for your little one and staying awake through their struggles and growth means you are in turn being an amazing Mother.
All Mothers, to whatever degree, will undoubtedly suffer from sleep deprivation; I have written a few posts just on this topic that can help you through sleep deprivation and also how to motivate yourself when you have no energy…
2. You have decided that today… is Pyjama Day
Wether its due to the above point of lack of sleep or maybe you just don’t feel like having the world today, thats ok!
It is ok to relax, it is ok to want to just chill out for the day; essential even!
You have just grown and pushed a small human from your being so give yourself a break!
3. You feel like a milking cow
Now this one is manly for the breastfeeding Mama out there, who time and time again fall victim to floods of tears while you nurture your little ones through unforgiving cluster feeds and growth spurts.
I have been there, I have know the immense struggle and pain you feel while questioning WHY… WHY DO YOU NEED MORE? You have just finished feeding your baby and then suddenly they are apparently starving again and you feel like a human milking cow.
But know this, you are doing an amazing thing by breastfeeding your child if you are able to. You are giving them the best start you possibly can.
When I had these moments of tribulation I found counsel in a few places such as breastfeeding clinics and hotlines that you can call. Once I was in a bad place and felt like my little dude was on my breast for the while day and I was worn down and weary, so I called a Breastfeeding Helpline where you can talk to a volunteer Mama that can offer support and advice; she told me something that will always stay with me and gave me immense comfort.
She reminded me that in other cultures Mothers are topless so that they can be readily available for they little ones, and if they want to feed all of the time thats ok; its just what they need!
Just roll with it and know that it won’t be forever, you are just nurturing your baby and the closeness that you have from breastfeeding you will undoubtedly miss when they have grown. Cherish it.
4. The housework has taken a back seat
You and your baby are what is most important, not how tidy your house is. Family members and friends will be on hand to give you a helping hand with things like that so that you can focus on whats important.
You will undoubtedly see the mess as worse than it actually is!
5. Toys. Everywhere
Like above… you will most certainly think the mess is worse than it really is.
Toys lying around and rooms filled with puzzles and books show that your child is having fun! It shows that your child is gaining knowledge and learning through play.
6. Mom Fashion is totally a thing…
So self care just totally goes out of the window when you initially have a child, there are of course moments that you can grasp this back but not as frequently or as thoroughly as before BUT again, that is ok!
No one expects a Mother to be a shining , immaculately turned out human being when the more important thing for a Mother to focus on is her child.
Timesaving options when it comes to finding something to throw on is essential so check out my ’11 Wardrobe Essentials for Moms’ and ‘5 Easy Hacks to get that Im Rocking Motherhood look without really trying’
7. Mom Guilt is also… totally a thing
Oh the Mom guilt… it is there t every turn, taunting you. But it is just another joyous part of being a Mother and shows just how much you care.
Don’t ever feel guilty for feeling Mom Guilt as it means that you have a conscience and why wouldn’t you feel it? Our little people are our world!
There are ways of easing the Mom guilt though, check out my ‘Top Tips to help you banish Mom Guilt’ that plagues the Motherhood community.
8. The Mom Bod… so much so a thing.
We all see the stories in the papers and the magazines about celebrities that are shamed for still carrying extra weight after having children; similarly the ones who are praised for managing to lose baby weight so quickly. But you have to question how and why they lose it that fast? Is it perhaps because they have all the money in the world to pay for personal trainers, the latest diet fad and nannies to look after their babies while they are spending more time with said personal trainer than their children?
A mothers body performs the miracle of life!
It is a vessel that carries and delivers the most precious of cargo; it has been stretched and strained through carrying a small human inside for 9 months and when that same body has gone through immense trauma to expel its cargo how on earth can we possibly expect that body to look exactly the same as a woman who has just gone through puberty?
The Mum Bod is something that Mothers should be proud of; it took me a while but I am now most certainly accepting and rocking my post baby body!
9. Your child is still living!
So if you can tick just one thing of of your ‘To Do’ list today, the fact that your child is still alive can be just that. You are doing your job right!
10. Your children adore you.
It may feel at times that your child hates you with all of the fury of the devil incarnate BUT another comforting thought that has stayed with me and I will always remember is that children are always going to play up to those that they feel most comfortable with.
So, however it may seem that you are your childs worst enemy know that in fact you are the one they feel most safe around; they know that even when they are at their worst you will always love them.
The same applies the other way round.
Your child will always love you and you are in fact their utmost favourite person.
11. The fact that you are feeling all of these strains and doubtful feelings means that you CARE SO MUCH!
In the earlier days it may feel like your world has been totally and utterly turned upside down and you are trying incredibly hard to stay afloat; but why? Let Motherhood take you downstream and go with the flow. I have written lots about how it is utterly detrimental to compare yourself to others and also some easy ways to lift yourself when your feeling low…
Maybe trust in the knowledge that you are doing THE most amazing thing by putting all of your energy and effort into your child or children and that in time the creases will iron themselves out and you will come to realise that, in a crazy twist of fate, you in fact miss all of the things that once left you in such a state that it felt like your eyes were producing a Niagra Falls.
YOU, Mama, are awesome.
YOU, Mama, are rocking Motherhood.
YOU, Mama, have totally got this.
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