As you may know if you follow my blog, I run Rock and Roses Mama alongside working part time in Retail Management; I know a lot of Mothers strive for this balance but believe me the struggles of a woking Mom are harsh… My ‘working Mother’ story is a little long winded so today I am sharing it with you in the hope that it will inspire other Mothers to share their story and provide clarity in the Mothering community.
When I was pregnant I was determined NOT to be one of (what I perceived at the time as) a ‘benefit Mom’ that doesn’t work and purely lives on money received in benefits from the government taken from workers taxes (I realise I am treading on eggshells on a very touchy topic and if you read on you will see how my opinions shifted…)
If you are interested in the seemingly confused and opposing views on working Mothers vs Stay at home mothers you can read about how society needs to take a stand either way in ‘Working Mom vs Stay at home Mom: Could society decide already?’ and ‘Is society really built for working Moms?’
As previously mentioned I was determined to return to work and pursue my career in Retail Management and not let Motherhood take away that career driven part of me.
The reality was a little different, however, as I was faced with a demotion due to not wanting to work the 50 hour week I had been doing previously. I wished to work 30-35 hours per week, which unfortunately for me meant being classed as ‘part-time’ and my position was lowered by one rung on the ladder.
It wasn’t ideal.
But as I began working I realised, slowly, that in actual fact it as nice to have balance between my home life and my working life; working less hours and with slightly less responsibility meant that I could escape from work guilt free at the end of every shift and not let it affect my thoughts while at home.
My relationship with work changed. It no loner meant as much to me; it was a way of providing for my little dude, it was no longer my life.
Slowly, over nearly two years of being back at work and 5 months into starting Rock and Roses Mama with the hopes of pursuing my passion for writing, I started to realise that being in the day job was NOT what I wanted!
There is so much guilt attached to leaving for work, leaving your child; it is inescapable when you pop on your coat and bag and make your way to the door… they give you that look.
“I know what this means… your leaving me again aren’t you” look…
You feel like the worst human being in the world, even if in the back of your mind you know that you are going to work to earn cold hard cash for your family, to support said small being.
You also fell guilty for wanting time by yourself… being at work is often the only time a lot of mothers get to be something other than ‘Mum’ and it is truly liberating. However you feel a stab of guilt for even considering wanting to be something other than ‘Mum’.
It is a very real struggle and a battle that all working mothers face if they are not in a financial position to be out of work (like me!)
You are not alone.
(If you are struggling with the inescapable ‘Mum Guilt’ then please head over to my post ‘Top tips to help you banish Mom Guilt’ as it has helped a lot of Moms escape the guilt tat plagues us all daily.)
Do you struggle with the work/life balance as a Mother? Please share your own story and help other mothers in knowing that they are not alone.