So I have mused before about ‘Friendships after childbirth‘ and how they tend to shift; you will undoubtedly loose friends and your friendships and their boundaries will change. This is not to be seen as a bad thing however, and I wish that there had been someone around to tell me this before I gave birth, it is completely natural for certain friendships to be tested after a baby becomes part of them. It is easiest just to say goodbye to friendships that are not lasting through and welcome new ones; becoming a Mama necessitates making friends with fellow Mamas, it is of utmost importance to find your Mama tribe!
Motherhood can be extremely lonely as you struggle through the first stages of finding your feet and your Mama groove if you will. If, like me, none of your friends were parents before you were it is hard to find a welcoming ear to any issues of queries you may have (and believe me there will be TONS!) It is also hard sometimes to seek council from your own Mother as lets face it its been a LONG time since she has looked after a baby and time, they are a changin’.
It was very hard for me personally to adjust to this new life of mine and I did find my groove, but it was thanks to the opportunities I gave myself to open up and reach out to other mothers.
I was always determined not to loose myself and who I was after childbirth and that is one of the main reasons I started this blog; luckily my Mama and some of my existing, childless friends (Yes… there were a couple of friend casualties that had to be amputated) were super supportive and encouraged me to still go out to gigs and meals etc by babysitting for me.
I was also a super sociable lil butterfly before little man came along so it was hard for me to sit inside and not to connect with adults! I think that if I hadn’t forced myself to be pushed out of my comfort zone and go to classes with other new Mamas (I hate going to events/places where I don’t know a single person… very overwhelming!) I would have most certainly have fallen victim to Post Natal Depression.
There was a twinge of sadness at times, mainly surrounding breastfeeding and the challenges that incites, and I felt very alone. Without the classes I went to where I met other Mamas I would never have made it through that first year as happily as I did!
As year two approached I was lucky enough to encounter lots of other Mama tribes that I became part of; one of which is the amazing Mummy Blogger community that is so inclusive and empowering (I will putting a post up on ‘How to find your Mama tribe: Top sites and groups’ later in the week so look out for that too!)
We are all muddling through together and I feel it is so important that new Mothers are made aware of the incredible benefits of just talking to other Mamas and going out of the house with them; coffee dates, play dates. You will undoubtedly encounter some that don’t agree with your parenting styles, but the ones that you find an affinity with will be your backbone.
Honestly I can’t praise the Mamahood community enough; we are there to pick you up when you are feeling down, to give you a few hours peace and YOU time if you need it, to come round and help you at at home, to give you a hug, to tell you that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
You are not alone.
Can you relate to this? Do you know anyone that could really benefit from knowing how important connecting with fellow Mamas is? Please feel free to share on Social Media; spread the word to all Mamas out there.