So you want to know how to banish the stabbing Mom Guilt with some easy peasy and uplifting tips? I know we’ve all been there; we all as Mothers feel that horrifying pang of self doubt and guilt that we are not doing the best we can or that we are not doing things right. But what is ‘right’ and what is our ‘best’? Is it the ‘perfect Mummy’ image that we see so often plastered around television and magazines? Is it that we feel we don’t spend enough time with our children and we feel guilty for being working Mums or, god forbid, wanting some time to ourselves, going to work or wanting to eat our dinner/drinking our tea while it is still hot!? Parenting is super tough… it is hands down one of the toughest things about being human; bringing another life into the world and then teaching them everything you know and trying to ensure they are the very best human being they can possibly be. Thats an awful lot of pressure on us SO… *waves magic wand* here are some tips to save yourself from the guilt that plagues us all as Mothers.
Find your tribe.
Firstly, and most importantly, know that you are not alone. Motherhood is an intense balancing act and we ALL feel the guilt over different things and for different reasons but undeniably we all feel it. And I would probably go as far as to say that we, in many cases, let it manifest every day.
Mammahood can be cripplingly lonely and so it is super important to lug yo ass to see local Mama groups such as the ones provided by the SureStart teams across the coutry like ‘Life with Baby’ etc. I personally made two of my best Mama clan friends through these groups!
There are also some intensely supportive and hands down amazing groups like Punky Mums and Mumsnet that connect fellow minded Mommas and arrange local meet ups. I regularly go to meet ups hosted by Punky Mums and find them incredibly supportive and non judgemental on their Facebook page.
Even reading Mummy led blogs like this one can boost your confidence that you are not the only one suffering in this. We are all in it together (does little fist pump) Mother Pukka is amazing to follow if you are on Instagram.
Invest in some confidence boosting ‘Mamamerch’.
There are so many amazing Mom brands out there at the moment for you to support that offer uplifting and empowering pins, totes, tees and books that will for sure turn that frown upside down.
To mention a few: The Winter & Rain (Run by the amazing Selena Hodges with her ‘Lioness not Princess’ tees and totes that I featured in my Rockin’ Mamas Clan) Onestrong Mother pin, Selfish Mother, We Are Enough and Mother Like No Other. A handful of these also donate a huge portion of profits to amazing organisations like Womens Aid and Domestic Abuse services.
The most supportive and inspiring Mama merch has to be… and because it deserves its own point…
These beauties are the BOMB. I implore you to immediately grab yourself a pack of these as they are a daily reminder that you are dong your very best for you and your child, to ‘let go of fear and doubt’ and to know that ‘everything will be okay’.
There are different packs for different things too so have a browse here, pick up a pack (… not a penguin) and pop them by the side of your bed or somewhere you will see them every day (mine are on my mantlepiece) and turn over a new card each morning to give yourself a pat on the back. Just genius.
Watch ‘Bad Moms’.
Ok sounds like a weird one but honestly… this film made me feel so much better about every aspect of being a mother! I was so dubious because of the name but after watching it I totally get it! Read my full review of it here! Seriously… you will not regret it! Makes you feel like you are totally ROCKING motherhood and can conquer all!
Take time to just chill.
This one is super important. A lot of ‘Mom Guilt’ surrounds us when we are doing something for ourselves. Remember this is essential to Motherhood… we need to take the time to relax to retain sanity!
Have a relaxing bath, read your favourite book, single under a blanket with a good film, your beverage of choice and some chocolate. know that you deserve a break. You deserve a little indulgence for all of the crap and internal struggles you smile through day to day. I have written a full post on why ‘Maxin’ Relaxin’: Why chilling is the secret to Mamahood’.
Let your worries fade and your troubles wash away and just breathe Mama.
Doing something for yourself every now again will do you the world of good. Being ‘Mom’ 24/7 is utterly exhausting! You have to remember that you are YOU too.
Always retain who you are, your self identity is why your partner fell in love with you (spending couple time is equally as important here I must add!) , why your children will grow to respect and identify with you. Be their role model by showing them that you can follow your passions and embrace who you are.
My most recent post ‘Don’t let the label ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ take over YOU’ is all about this and so many Mothers have found it really inspiring!
I hope these tips can help you banish the ‘Mom Guilt’ we all feel and are plagued by every day. Please know that you are not alone and that you are doing the very best for you and your family.
Do you suffer with mum guilt ? Have you found these tips helpful?