Don’t let the label ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ take over ‘YOU’

Musings

This is the firm reason I started blogging in the first place and the purpose of my blog if you will; affirming in all Mommas that you don’t have to let parenting take over your life. You are your own fabulous person and you and your child and everyone around you will be amazed to watch you flourish and rock this parenting shindig while letting yourself shine through. Don’t let the label ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’ take over ‘YOU’. 

Musing-label-mum-personality-parenting-labels

Listening to a Radio interview with a comedian that had recently become a father, I decided to reaffirm that with this weekly musing; he was talking about how that now he has a son he finds it hard to not centre his material around parenting and the hilarities of it all, but ultimately his fans wanted to see HIM, doing HIS thing!

Being a parent is the most amazing thing and we all want to shout it from the rooftops! How amazing our kids are and how amazing we are for making them so amazing. But we sometimes need to remember who we are; who WE truly are.

Motherhood and Fatherhood doesn’t define us, our children our extensions of who we are and we owe it to them and ourselves to stay true to US and follow our passions.

It is so easily done, to get lost and forgotten in this totally encapsulating bubble of Motherhood that we momentarily loose ourselves and our passions.

Don’t get me wrong I know it is pretty much impossible to retain the exact same versions of ourselves pre-children, but it is not impossible to become a version of that woman and still follow our hearts and hopes.

Parenting is a constant juggle of time and energy and with a little motivation (PLENTY of that around if you just have a browse of the truly inspirational Momma blogs and brands out there!) you can channel that into still being the incredible Mother that you have become but also an incredible YOU.

I recently interviewed a driven women called Penelope Magoulianiti, the author of inspirational self-help book ‘Women, Motherhood and Independence’, and she has some amazing tips and plans to help women balance their lives without letting the label ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ consume you. Head over to my Instagram feed to win yourself a copy!

I am continuing to interview and write about Mamas who have embraced themselves and their self identity while doing that epic Motherhood thang in my ‘Rockin’ Mamas Clan’ series. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you wish to share your story and inspire other Mamas out there to follow their passions too.

Diary of an imperfect mum
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61 thoughts on “Don’t let the label ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ take over ‘YOU’

  1. Oh that book sounds so interesting! Will check it out. You’re so right though, it is so important that your role of mother is just one aspect of you and not everything you are. I’ve written about this too in some of my posts about not wanting my children to see me just as mummy but to know me as Helen too. Great read #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. No worries! Time changes us all but Motherhood certainly does it very drastically! We evolve but should never disappear from our former glory! Definitely spend some time being just YOU! ❤

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  2. That is so true. I lost myself to motherhood for a good few years, but I feel now that the girls are older I’m able to breathe a little and I’m finding the new me is much more confident. I’m loving rediscovering myself.
    #globalblogging

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  3. I love this post! So important that every parent realizes, that being a mom and a dad is not all we are. Taking care of ourselves, our desires, our dreams is just as important, as that makes us a better parent, a true role-model for our kids. #globalblogging

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  4. I started uni and in a class of 30 there are only two of us that have children, it is quite refreshing to just talk about myself but I know they cant all relate to my stories of motherhood so I tend to keep those for my mummy friends. #globalblogging

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    1. It is great to have different ‘tribes’ too as you say. I love a good mummy group but sometimes it is nice to just be ME and not talk about children and sleep regression and eating habits! ❤

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    1. Definitely! Don’t get me wrong I adore being ‘Mum’ but still love to follow my own passions like drawing, craft, reading, socialising, cinema trips and dinners with friends… going to gigs. I would never want to lose that side of my personality as that is what makes me the ‘Mum’ I am! I am Rebecca as well as ‘Mum’ ❤

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  5. As a mom of two school-age kids, I can share that it’s important not to lose sight of who you are because that comes back to you when you have more time, like now.

    #globalblogging

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    1. Definitely! I think a balance needs to be stuck always. It is undoubtedly hard when you have younger babies and toddlers… my little man was about 1 when I truly pushed to keep ‘ME’ alive! Luckily I have a thriving family and friends network who understand the importance of me and also me and my partner finding time for ourselves and getting out of the house solo once in a while ❤

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  6. What a great reminder to stay true to yourself, especially after having children. It can be hard not to lose yourself in the world of all things children – especially when you’re working on a new baby! I’m finally rediscovering “myself” now that my kids are fairly self sufficient – and in school!
    ~Jess
    #GlobalBlogging

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    1. I have found this a lot actually… after school age that mothers tend to feel a sense of freedom then. It is always possible with a little determination I feel… much easier if you’ve got willing babysitters! ❤

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  7. Great post and one I think we need to remind ourselves of often – we were independent valued people before becoming parents, and nothing about that should change. We can do whatever we want (a little more restricted now perhaps) and be whoever we want to be. We are still those people, just with little people to love and care for too. Loved this post. #globalblogging

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    1. Thank you! Definitely! Yes we are admittedly a little more restricted, as you say, but still the same people… just slightly evolved! I think its important for friends to understand this also… ❤

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  8. It is difficult to not become “just Mom”. Mom has to keep so many balls in the air that it is easier just to concentrate on mom balls. But I started loosing so much of who i am and I wanted to set a healthy example for my daughter. It becomes easier now that she is becoming more independent. #globalblogging

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    1. It is incredibly difficult… I write because i hope to inspire this in Mothers that have forgotten themselves or feel that they should push their self identity aside for their children. I think it is very common for Mothers to feel they can be themselves a little more after their children are in school… ❤

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  9. When my boys were little, I remember feeling overwhelmed by exactly what you describe. Starting a part time job, just a few hours a week really helped me. So did scheduling time with friends. Even if we were talking about kids, just having a little time with other grown-ups was so wonderful!

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  10. Blogging led to freelancing, book penning and other opportunities that in a shirt six months have helped me redefine myself outside of mama. I didnt even know I craved or needed a redefinition…until this experience.

    #globalblogging

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  11. Motherhood has caused a lot of what I was to disappear and be replaced with something much more fabulous. I think parenting should change you for the better. I am much happier as the person I am today. #GlobalBlogging

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    1. I agree we totally evolve into different versions of ourselves and I would have never found blogging if I wasn’t a Mama… and I am so in love with who I am becoming because of my ‘Rock and Roses Mama’ identity! But I still remain true to ‘Rebecca’ and what I enjoy in my social sphere ❤ #globalblogging

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  12. I am surrounded by kids 24/7, pregnant with my 5th. I kid you not, I cannot WAIT for my son to be born so that I can take back my body and start focusing more on myself. That sounds a bit selfish, I truly am grateful for having 5 happy and healthy kids but you are so right about needing to still be yourself. Thanks for co-hosting this week! #globalblogging

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    1. Awwwww it is very hard when you are pregnant… but I would still say it is possible. I still went to gigs (local pub ones… not full on festivals!) when pregnant… share your passions with them in utero! My little man LOVES music and Im positive it is because he was listening in to all the Mr’s gigs I went to! It is so so important to be yourself… what is so wrong with being selfish from time to time when you are looking after YOU! Happy Mama = happy children! It makes parenting so much easier when you are free of stress and worry… take some time to chill and relax ❤ I have LOVED co-hosting! Definitely want to do it again! ❤

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  13. (I didn’t like her book, so I abandoned it halfway through and declined review it.)

    Your thoughts on the other hand, are genuine and I agree with them very much. We should send ourselves a friendly reminder about this daily. Well, I should. Shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to be yourself, about wanting to do other things as well as being a parent. I too, started to blog because of this. So now my blog is my creative outlet and hobby.

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    1. Oh no really!? I loved her passion and gusto but I suppose maybe to others it could seem forced possibly!? It reminded me a lot of what I am trying to inspire in women I guess! Thank you… No… rid yourself of ‘Mom guilt’ – I have just written a post all about this too! Have a read…! I love blogging as I get to remind myself all of the things I write about, sort of a cathartic process… also I can share this with others and help them remind themselves too ❤

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  14. This is so true. Me and my husband often call each other ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ even when our kids aren’t around without even realising that we are doing it #GlobalBlogging

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    1. Awwwww… that is very cute but yes we tend to let these labels creep into our own personalities… Minot saying they should be separate, they are definitely intertwined, but you should never forget YOU! ❤

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  15. I’ve recently changed from working 5 days a week to 4 for this exact reason. To have some time to myself during which I can do what I want to do and be me for a few hours without worrying about everything and everyone else. Best thing I ever did! Great post #GlobalBlogging

    Liked by 1 person

  16. One of the reasons I love working is that I get just me time – not a wife or a mum, but me! It’s really great. Lovely idea for a series too. Great to see how we all do the same job differently

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    1. Yes totally… but then you have to ask yourself is working really relaxing? Is it really time to chill and be serene!? I used to love working for this reason but now I find it an added stress… ❤

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  17. Such a positive and motivating post… you are so right, it’s essential to find/ be/ nurture other aspects of ourselves besides Mum/ Dad. In fact, I find it makes parenting that much more stimulating, and dare I say, easier?
    #GlobalBlogging

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww thank you so much! Definitely… it totally makes being a parent easier and more fulfilling if we are at one with US and enjoying our lives as US. Our children will look to us as role models in a more positive light too… watching us follow our own passions and remaining social with friends will encourage them to do so also. ❤

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  18. Oooh I can’t wait to read people’s responses to this. Some mums give up their passions and blame other family members for doing so while others pass on their hobbies to their younger offspring. #GlobalBlogging

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    1. Well there have been lots already! Exactly… women will find themselves resenting their children for parenthood stopping them following their dreams… it doesn’t have to be that way! ❤

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  19. Oh goodness so many thoughts in my head after reading this. I don’t think I even recognise myself anymore! But then I’m happy with who I am its just different now. But it is hard, I do find myself fantasising about what I’ll do when both my girls are at school, but then I don’t want them to both be at school either! Parenting, a continual head ****!
    #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I’m still pregnant but I’m already so scared of losing “Me”, must remember to keep allowing myself some energy throughout all of this and for years to come! Thanks for the reminder! #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I’m just about finding myself again, I was so lost for a long time in the mum label and forgot about my needs #globalblogging

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