Don’t sweat the small stuff; learning how to ‘let go’

Musings

I don’t know about you but I have found that after bringing my little man into the world I can become far more easily riled than my pre-baby, happy-go-lucky self. I have put this down to simply having more on my plate, or putting more on my plate, but are we making far more work for ourselves as mothers and creating unnecessary stress by placing the ideals of ourselves far too high?

Do we need to learn to occasionally ‘let go’? 

I was always determined to return to work and retain my independence financially; I have also always attempted to retain my self identity and couple identity by spending time away from the house, gigs, date nights, girls nights etc. As I have mentioned before, I am also quite guilty of trying too hard to make every public holiday, birthday etc super special by making and organising everything for it myself; thoughtful and cutesie yes, but every time I put something extra on my list of things to craft or draw or bake I create more tension in my household as I attempt to stretch my already depleting day to day time schedule to fit it all in.

As mothers, and fathers too for that matter, we have a lot to get done on a day to day basis before even thinking about trying to fit in any extra social or hobby related activities (I mused on how little ‘time’ we have as parents here) I mean I haven’t even mentioned all of the mundane day to day tasks that just flow and ebb around all of the above extra things; Housework (I was assuming that is a given) Work (I work full time, and lets be honest looking after a child is actually a paid job too so lets count stay at home/homeschool mommies as workers too) Exercise (personally I work out from home but I know there are lots of rockin’ mamas that gym it up or attend classes)

So you get the overall picture I’m trying to paint here, we have a lot to juggle. What have I learnt?

Let it go. 

I think the majority of the stress I deal with is stress I put on myself by trying to reach this level for myself that only I know about. No one else knew that I had far more planned to decorate my sons recent Birthday Party and some of the baked times went terrible wrong  ending up in the bin the night before. No one noticed the questionable hemming and overhang of the ten tablecloths that I offered to make for my friends wedding last weekend. No one knows that I had attempted to make my garden to look Chelsea Flower Show worthy before I had that BBQ a few weeks ago and that there were numerous bags of garden waste hidden in our shed.

My partner often says to me, “Why do you do it to yourself, don’t worry about it, it’ll be fine”

“It’ll be fine”

Now this phrase is my biggest pet hate, or was. It would just grate on me, similar to the effects of fingernails running down a chalkboard. However I am beginning to learn the usefulness of such a phrase just as much as my partner is learning the trouble with it. For you dear, yes it will be fine, as I am the one that makes it all fine by stressing about everything being awesome. I think though, as much as it is amazing to do as much as we are doing as parents to make our and our children lives rich with culture, craft, all things homemade and making sure you go out and about child free, there is a time when its either “let it go’ or suffer a migraine.

So I have decided that during stressful times I am now having one ‘Let it go moment’ per day. I am going to are myself from the strain and tension stress creates in my household by just not sweating the small stuff; its not worth it at the end of the day. My own rockin’ mama actually asks me now when she speaks to me what my ‘let it go moment’ has been that day. It is usually housework related, but after my sons Birthday Party there were a few things that I had planned to bake that did not go to plan at all (lets just say that the ‘arrow cake pops’ for his Tribal/Native American theme Party ended up in the bin) and I was pretty miffed as had spent quite a lot of time/money on ingredients etc B U T I quite calmly looked at the bigger picture and figured there was plenty of food, no one knew I was planning on making them anyway, so I just let it go. Done.

It is sometimes hard to remain in that mindset and not let little things stress you out when our trying to juggle motherhood, family, friends, relationships, hobbies, exercise and work, but it is so relieving when you do.

What ‘let it go moment’ have you had recently? Are you guilty of putting too much on your plate as a rocking’ mama?

 

 

 

Mummuddlingthrough

 

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25 thoughts on “Don’t sweat the small stuff; learning how to ‘let go’

  1. This is excellent. I think age helps us let go a little too as I was far more concerned with being the perfect wife and perfect mother and perfect career girl in my 20s but as I’ve got older I can laugh at the chaos of it a little more – my husband has been excellent at being the total opposite of me where nothing fazes him and if it’s bought pizza and, shock horror, a bought dessert what does it matter? It’s the friends – and the wine – that make a good evening, a good party, a good BBQ, a good day – not the unrealistic pressure that we put ourselves under for perfection. Great post!

    Like

    1. Thank you! Yes as time goes on I am definitely getting there… It’s something no one tells you before you have children! That sometimes juggling everything means letting go of the small stuff. It’s a daily struggle as I’m super always striving for perfection… But I’m the only one that cares about it!
      Thank you again for taking the time to read my musings ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, I hear you. I think as moms, we do tend to put too much on our plates and then think we wouldn’t have any problems doing them all on top of the usual work-life commitments that get in the way. We do have to let it go and by doing so, it will help retain some of our sanity. Well articulated and a post I can so relate. #fortheloveofBLOG.

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  3. Massively guilty of this. Even just this morning I was telling myself to cop on. I will try to do the same. ..one ‘let it go’ moment a day. As I a teacher by profession I might need to add a few more though…😀#fortheloveofBLOG

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  4. I definitely put too much stress onto myself and then feel fed up when it doesn’t go to plan or, as in the case of my daughter’s birthday party, no one noticed! That was a good lesson to me that just because I think it’s important definitely doesn’t mean others do to – and often it really isn’t worth stressing about! A great post – thanks for sharing #fortheloveofBLOG

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  5. Awwww I know what u mean, but them party pics were amazing, u did a fab job, I was the same for Alex birthday she was 10 recently and I had invited her friends round for tea. liteeally just flung it all together bought a bit of bunting last minute. It had to do! There was nothing else I could of done. I was stressing before hand saying it looked poop and my bf was also saying it will be fine! I was stressing about the weather too not having the pool out and her water slide! In the end they had a brill time. (Future blog post) with a simple water fight pizza and ice cream X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha it used to really grate on me until I realised that actually sometimes it actually will be fine… i mean I’m the one making it fine but the things I worry about that haven’t gone to plan are not worth stressing about ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Im a DIM ( Do it myself ) addict and cant seem to trust anyone to do anything as good as i could do it ( except the cleaning ) . Im a total stress head and throw parties for the opening of an envelope. We have just had my daughters 1st birthday and i organised 3 parties . Why , because im mad and want to relish every bit of fun but at the cost of being totally knackered all the time #binkylinky

    Liked by 1 person

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