I’ve always loved writing and have felt passionately about my parenting beliefs… but starting Rock and Roses Mama blog was not on my immediate agenda until very recently.
Being a Gemini, I have often struggled with the varying sides of my eclectic personality; becoming a mama was no different and in fact possibly heightened this constant feeling of being torn between two polar opposite personas. I was always a ‘good girl’ who excelled academically and socially but found a constant need to be ‘different’, to be ‘rebellious’ and had a constant attachment to skinny jeans, leather jacket and oversized sunglasses. When I fell pregnant I found myself leaning towards slightly more feminine attire but clinging to my ‘cool’ underlying self, to the point that i could have been caught donning a fuchsia, pleated maxi skirt paired with converse,a black tank and leather jacket.
After attending a couple of baby classes, as you do, to become a little better connected with other new mothers and the opinions and lifestyle of other mamas, I felt even more pushed to embrace the side of me that i felt was being overthrown by thoughts of baby cooing, nappy brands and soft, cuddly toys. There was one instance where I was asked to voice what part of my life I missed most from before I became a mom; I voiced my honest opinion that I truly missed my social life, my out and about mentality and ‘social butterfly’ lifestyle that had made me… ‘M E’. Needless to say, I was shot down by a momma who felt the need to belittle me about how she felt she had lived her life and was quite ready for the responsibility of wholly putting her life into her child, putting her own self identity behind her. I admire her commitment but I have to say i found myself empowered to completely disagree.
I felt urged to spread the message that if you are to remain sane as a parent and be an epic role model to your child/children you must surely retain ‘Y O U’ and still do all of the things that make you who you are; sure there are limitations at times but for example if you enjoy festivals, take your children with you and open their minds to the joy of music and spirit. If social events and parties with friends are your thing, take your children with you and they will grow up to see their parents with a thriving friends and family network that with any luck they will adopt too. Fancy going to that bar thats just opened? grab a babysitter and for goodness sake go and dance the night away! If you and your partner love the movies or dining out then do it, it is so important to retain your relationship as a couple after you have a child, your child/children will see the love spark between you and aspire to have a relationship like yours in the future.
After a few years of truly embracing the balance between the ‘mumsy’ and the ‘rock chic’, seeing other mamas struggle to retain an adult sense of sanity after having children and harnessing my adoration of the written word, so was born ‘Rock & Roses Mama’.